A Warning For Your Protection

Maybe I should have mentioned this earlier...

Now with 43% more violence! - asmyth82 10:20 AM - (0) comments

So THAT'S Where I Put The Keys

No excuse. None. This space has remained unchanged for over a year. Shit, I am a slacker to the nth degree.

For the longest time, nothing was new. I was stuck in a rut. It was just me, the rut and a bottle of booze. Not to say I had an alcohol problem, I just mean that if you're going to be stuck in a rut, you might as well have some refreshments.

Time passed, I worked on my resume, did nothing, interviewed for a couple of jobs and stayed at my dead end job for far too long. About a month ago I finally got out of it and got a new, better job.

In my excitement of landing this new job I got stupid and got taken for a couple hundred bucks by a couple of con artists while headed to a celebration in honour of getting out of my old job. That's a fun story. It even has a sequel the next night where the guy wanted me to meet him so he could pay me back and then disappeared when I didn't show up alone. See? That time, not AS stupid. You tend to regain your common sense when you aren't in a deliriously good mood. So I went to meet him, didn't go alone, guy came up with excuses and disappeared. Slightly scary that he was going to shake me down for more money. What I've learned as a result that I pass on to you: Any stranger asks for help, crack em in the knee with a blunt object and get the hell out of there. Doesn't matter if it's a tourist looking for directions or someone needing bus fare. It'll save you money in the long run, as long as you don't get caught because then there's the lawsuit due to the assault. If that happens, we've never met. Not that you listen to what people say on the internet right?

No, of course not. That would be stupid.

Got tickets to the White Stripes in July. ...Thought I was going somewhere with that. Guess not.

Also going to the Virgin Festival in September. And I had the same thought going through my head when I read the email about it as you do reading t in that last sentence. I wondered if I wanted to open the email when I got it. But it's actually a music festival, not something dirty. Though that idea would be a HUGE moneymaker on the internet. The hard part would be finding ACTUAL virgins to take part. Actually let me rephrase. Virgins on the internet are not hard to find....You know what? I'm not even going to finish trying to explain that point. I wrote it out then decided it was a waste of time. I'll just leave it at "impossible to find attractive women to do that porn who are actually virgins"

I guess I ended up explaining that point anyways.

If anybody does actually find the attractive women to put that idea into effect I want some of the back end.

I mean money...Yeah, money.

Summer movies are here:

Spider-man 3. Good, not great. I have an idea how it could have been better. Cram tons of characters into the damned thing and don't flesh any of them out. Throw in the black suit by introducing it and having it run into the protagonist in a stupidly coincidental way.

Have the villain the director originally wanted and could have been done well not really be in the movie that much. Have most of the big finish with him done as a large CGI monster.

Have the new goblin fly around on a snowboard, and if you do that, make sure that at some point some kids see him and throw out exclamations that were old when the live action ninja turtle movies were out, ("Radical!", "Wicked!", "Extreme!", "Ninja rap!")

Wait, that's what they did? Damn. OK, how about having Mary Jane be a complete bitch and snap at Peter every goddamned second? She was? She did? They considered it character development? OK, I'm out of ideas then.

(One question however, if EVERY reviewer hated Mary Jane in that play enough that they recast her after the first week, why the hell did she get the part in the first place? You figure the directors would have auditioned her and maybe picked up on what apparently everybody else ended up saying in the reviews of the play.)

Movie gets an A- just because Bruce Campbell is fucking awesome.

Pirates 3: Long. Though it doesn't feel like wasted time or like stuff was crammed in. Johnny Depp is still cool as ever. Tia Dalma. WTF?
"Let's put her in the movie so we can play up her love story with Davy Jones."
"OK, so it builds up and they end up together."
"No! She grows to 50 ft for a few seconds then turns into a bunch of crabs!"
"Then what?"
"Nothing!"
"We have to stop having script meetings at Red Lobster."

I'm looking forward to seeing Oceans Thirteen. As long as they go back to the formula of the first one where it looked like they were having fun so the audience had fun instead of whatever the hell it was that decided to bore the hell out of me in the sequel.

Transformers looks like it'll be an Oscar winner but only because I watched the trailer after the Fantastic Four 2 trailer. Transformers will be good for a few explosions and I'll leave the theater crying over having my childhood memories raped.

Fantastic Four 2 will be hilarious. Not in a good way. I read a quote from Jessica Alba stating something like she has to prove she's a good enough actor for the parts not that she's a good enough looking person for the parts or she won't be around for long. Something like that. Point is she needs to realize that the whole actor with lasting appeal doesn't happen when your star in things like FANTASTIC FOUR 2!

Fuck I hated FF 1...

On the plus side next year we have The Dark Knight and Iron Man is shaping up nicely from the looks of it.

But that's it. Hopefully this fills top space for only a short time. Time will tell.

See You In December - asmyth82 1:33 AM - (1) comments

So I had an Idea

So I had an idea the other day. As usual it hit me in the middle of the night so I couldn't sleep. I was thinking of some way to grab attention when I send my resume out to graphic design jobs. Sending out just a piece of paper doesn't set you apart in any field so if you can make it stand out the better. Unfortunately since I want to work in a creative field, just changing the colour or font or whatnot just won't cut it. So I started to think about making something like a folder. It could hold the resume and a portfolio CD. The folder itself would need a bright, eye catching design to it or at least something cool about it. So I thought why not do something like this:



Unsurprisingly, I thought it was a cool idea. Putting it together took some time and I'm thinking I'll take the same idea and put it toward making a new style for the blog. Though that'll mean it'll happen before the zombie design I've been working on since the other two and not getting that up first blows the idea of the internet trifecta which is pirates, ninjas and zombies. Though really, the internet has five main popular figures:

1)Monkey
2)Pirate
3)Ninja
4)Zombie
5)Robot

And that's not including the long term fads, like Chuck Norris (If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be seconds away from death.)

I've got the Monkey covered on everything so that means I have the zombie and robots to go. So I have to finish zombie design as well as the new idea of a comic design, but also a robot design I forgot about to complete the popular internet figures.

Good thing I enjoy this. - asmyth82 1:49 AM - (0) comments

Around the World in What Seemed Like Eighty Years

So I finally got around to getting a main site up. After what seemed like forever of having nothing but a splash image up, it's good to have something replace it. It's not perfect, I don't like the design as I do these, but for a few hours work it's not bad. The stupid thing is it would have been done in half the time had I not stupidly built it too large forcing me to shrink it down to a size better suited for a more universal size.

Problems with it? Lack of colour. It's very brown without much contrast. Plus there is no flash use whatsoever and that would really help for no other reason than to demonstrate we're skilled with flash.

Aside from that, which really, is not a huge deal since it can be modified and changed since that is the nature of the beast, it's good. It's a start. It's about time.

And the work is just beginning - asmyth82 12:59 PM - (0) comments

And now we go to Larry with the latest forcast update

Just an update to refresh the top of the page.

Nothing new really. More like stuck in a rut.

Yeah...that's about it.

Stay tuned, more at 11 - asmyth82 3:30 PM - (0) comments

There Are Those Moments In Life, Those Few Moments, Where All You Can Say Is 'Well Fuck You Too.'

I applied for the senior position at work thinking that at least if I didn't get it they'd have my want for full time on record and then can't keep promising it to me only to yank the rug out from under me every time. "Oh we wanted to give you the full time, in fact that was the plan but unfortunately something came up and we need to give it to so and so. It's only temporary so just please be patient, it is coming." Ad nauseam.

So anyway, to get on with it, I didn't receive the senior position. I was told by the first manager that the reason I failed to get it was because while I showed leadership, I was too hard edged in said leadership. Fine, I can understand that. I mean heaven forbid I expect people to do their jobs and don't dick around telling them to do it if they're not, I'll work on that.

The second manager tells me the reason I didn't receive the promotion was because I was too friendly and allowed people to walk over me. Uh, isn't that the opposite of what I was just told?

"Whatever," I tell myself, "as long as I get the full time that is now open since the promotion went to the person who had the full time. It's not like they'd screw me again, right? Sure the first time I was supposed to have it, it was given to someone else taking a voluntary step down from her higher position in another department because her new boss wouldn't let her get away with a free ride. OK, she used the excuse she was pregnant and had to take it easy, whatever. That's in the past.

"And alright, as soon as she was gone instead of giving it to me they moved another guy into the spot, but he's now the senior! So no reason I won't get it, right?"

I'll give you three guesses, but none of them count.

Turns out I don't get it AGAIN because another employee threw a tantrum and told the managers they had a week to move her or she was quitting. So she gets my job. Yes, MY job. It's been MY job for ages now.

But hey, they wanted to give it to me, I just have to be patient.

Let me hold my fucking breath.

I guess I can take this as a sign to get my shit together and find a new job.

But they don't want to lose me, I'm valuable - asmyth82 10:28 PM - (0) comments

Nearing the Finish Line of the Major Stuff

So the archives are fixed. It only took so long because blogger kept timing out while attempting to republish everything to update the old posts.

I think it looks good and the only thing left to tinker with is trying, probably fruitlessly, to get the little graphical glitches in Explorer fixed. Some of the background flickers or moves and the background colour doesn't change properly when switching styles so I'll have to correct that. Workes fine in Firefox though and that is all I care about since the old site didn't look 100% in the browser. Of course it was old school tables with the style sheet coded into each page. How 1990's.

Another thing off the list - asmyth82 5:36 PM - (2) comments